


Don't Chase The Rabbit

by ittybittykozume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Comfort, Drift Compatibility, Jaeger Pilots, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), Love Confessions, self indulgent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ittybittykozume/pseuds/ittybittykozume
Summary: Just because they've been friends for as long as anyone can remember, doesn't mean drift compatibility comes easy to them. When chasing rabbits and ghost-drifting becomes too much, maybe they weren't made to be jaeger pilots together.Or maybe they just need a stronger bond.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Don't Chase The Rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely self-indulgent and I've watched Pacific Rim three times in 24 hours to write this. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty proud of this fic and won't stop talking about it for probably the next month.  
> I hope you enjoy my bullshit! Feel free to leave a comment screaming at me, I just live and breath kuroken.  
> Come annoy me on twitter @ittybittykozume

“If you can’t predict my moves here, we won’t be able to drift.” Kenma said, breathing heavily as he sat down on the mat, tossing his staff to the side. He wiped the sweat from his forehead as he glanced up at Kuroo who was frustratedly running a hand through his already wild hair.

“Kenma, we’ve been at this for three hours. Can we at least take a break?” Kuroo asked with a sigh. Usually Kenma was the one to break first, to ask for a break or even stop for the day after long hours of sparring but tomorrow they were going to attempt to drift together again for the third time.

The first few times were rather unsuccessful to say the least, which surprised them both. Having grown up together being at each other’s sides since the day they met, the fact that their attempts so far at drifting together failed was a shock. The memories of the failed tries kept replaying in Kenma’s mind at night when he couldn’t sleep, staring at the bottom up the bunk above him, Kuroo’s bed.

The first time drifting was never easy, for anyone, everyone knew that but a part of Kenma had a lot of hope for him and Kuroo with their long history together. 

_“Prepare for neural handshakes in 5, 4, 3--” The voice said over the speakers, resounding in his ears through the headset in his helmet. Kenma closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as the drift opened and the world around him disappeared. There was a moment of panic, his heart pounded in his chest as he dared to reach out for Kuroo._

_There were memories, both his and Kuroo’s but in the end there was rarely any differentiating between the two when they both shared so many. He could hear Kuroo’s voice, though distant and distorted, it was there calling out to him._

_The blue and white memories that swirled around him slowed to a halt as color filled the memory as it came to life around him. He took a second, blinking rapidly as he looked around him. Tall buildings, some having collapsed and others nearing the same fate. Fire and debris floated around him as he took a few steps, the weight of his drivesuit almost nonexistent as he walked through the empty street._

_“Kuroo.” Kenma called out hesitantly, a familiar pang of fear settling deep in his stomach as he turned around. His breath hitched in his throat as the shadow cast from the kaiju before him blanketed the sun._

_“Onibaba..” The words left Kenma’s lips in a whisper, the fear returning full force from the same day the kaiju known as Onibaba had attacked Tokyo. He took a few steps back, trying to control his breathing as he clenched his hands into fists._

_“Don’t chase the rabbit, don’t chase the rabbit.” He repeated to himself over and over, trying to pry himself away from the memory he’d latched onto. The kaiju continued forward towards him, roaring loudly as Kenma turned and took off running down the street. No matter how fast he ran, it seemed the kaiju would always be seconds away from crushing him to death. There was nowhere to run or hide, alone and forced to face his fate._

_The second he turned, the memory was ripped away from him and wide hazel eyes filled his field of view. It took him a second, his eyes darting around to realize he was back in the shatterdome’s lab, in the test conn-pod for jaeger pilot training. Kuroo had taken Kenma’s drivesuit helmet off and was holding his face in his hands, wiping at the tears that ran down his cheeks and reaching to wipe at the blood that started to run from his nose._

_“Hey, hey it’s okay you’re here. You’re safe.” Kuroo whispered gently as the lab techs ran in, helping unhook Kenma from the rig as he kept running his thumb over the other’s cheek. “Just focus on me, take some deep breaths.”_

There was never a look of disappointment in Kuroo’s eyes when they failed to drift perfectly, just worry but he’d never say it. He knew Kenma, knew his memories just as Kenma knew his, and every time they failed to connect through the drift Kuroo was only more determined to do it right the next time. 

The second time had gone much the same, Kenma chasing another memory and as soon as he had gotten out of the conn-pod and his drivesuit he was off to hide in a far corner of the shatterdome. Kuroo always knew where to find him, sometimes giving him some time before he did and other times following right after him the second he was out of his own drivesuit. 

Word had begun to get around that the two that had the most compatibility to begin with weren’t able to drift together, and everyone was on edge. If they weren’t able to drift successfully soon, the newest jaeger, a mark-5 called Rogue Wildcat, would be assigned to a different pair of rangers as the nearing kaiju attack was predicted to be in less than two weeks. 

On the morning of their third drift test, Kenma woke up earlier than anyone in his bunker and went to the lab on his own. He murmured a soft ‘good morning’ to those he passed until he entered the conn-pod test surveillance room.

“Good morning, Kenma. How are you feeling today?” The rather petite scientist who was holding a clipboard to her chest asked with a gentle smile, walking over to Kenma and wrapping her arm around him softly. He sighed as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder.

“I feel fine, mom. Just nervous.” The end of his sentence came out in a hushed whisper as he closed his eyes. His mother tightened her hold on his for a fraction of a second before pulling him back to look him in the eyes. 

“You’re going to be okay. I know you can do this, especially with Kuroo. It’s been hard and things may not be going the way we hoped but we have to keep trying. If there’s _anyone_ in the shatterdome that is drift compatible, it’s you two. I know it.” She said softly, reaching up to brush Kenma’s hair behind his ear. “Believe me, sweetheart. Today _will_ be different, you two were made for Rogue Wildcat and you will be able to pilot her with Kuroo at your side.”

Kenma nodded softly at his mom’s words, thanking her before leaving the lab to get an early breakfast and mentally prepare himself more for the day. As he was sitting alone on one of the catwalks, watching as the crews moved about Rogue Wildcat and eating slices of the orange he’d peeled, he felt eyes of an all too familiar presence focused on him. 

“If you want to sit with me you can, you don’t have to stand there and stare at me.” Kenma said, biting down on another orange slice and holding out another to Kuroo as he approached. The other took the slice, stuffing it in his mouth as he sat down with a leg dangling over the edge like Kenma’s.

Kuroo took a moment to look at Rogue Wildcat, smiling almost proudly before looking at Kenma.

“Today’s the day, I can feel it.” Kuroo said as Kenma tore apart the orange peel in his hand anxiously. 

“How do you know?” Kenma asked, taking a second before looking up at Kuroo. “What if I chase the rabbit again? I keep getting stuck, I can’t stop it from happening. Kuroo, maybe I’m just not made to be a jaeger p-”

“You are _more_ than your failures here, Kenma. You scored higher than anyone, higher than me, on a majority of the tests for drifting, for piloting, for everything. If anyone is made to be a jaeger pilot, it’s you. And plus...I know we’re drift compatible, Kenma. You know it too. Don’t tell me you haven’t been ghost-drifting outside of the drivesuits, the conn-pods….”

Kenma turned his head to stare down at his feet that dangled over the edge of the catwalk, taking a moment to think about the times he’d come to realize that outside of the conn-pod he and Kuroo were still connected, although the connection was muted. Their thoughts, their emotions, and even though things had always been that way between them after attempting to drift the first time it became stronger, more apparent. Kenma had only brushed it off as just knowing Kuroo so well, but as Kuroo finally pointed it out, he couldn’t deny the fact that they’d started to face the consequences already even after only one attempt at connecting in the drift.

Kenma let himself nod slightly to affirm kuroo’s words, to admit even to himself he felt it even if he didn’t want it to get his hopes up any more. 

“I’ve been ghost-drifting too. A lot at night, ya know…” Kuroo admitted, leaning his back against the railing as he started off the jaeger before them. “I just...I don’t just want to be your co-pilot, Kenma. I see the things you’ve dreamed about, the things you remember. We can’t bring that hurt, that pain into the drift. It’s like an open wound, it will only make the drift unstable. When we drift, when the neurological handshake starts, I need you to let the silence guide you. Don’t latch on to anything, let it flow. When you come out of it I’ll be right there by your side, okay?”

Kenma took a moment to think over Kuroo’s words, the ever present anxiety of drifting still churning deep in his stomach but it felt more settled than before. He nodded as he looked up at Kuroo. 

“I’ll try.” He said, earning a bright smile from the other. 

“Alright then. Why don’t we head to the drivesuit room and get ready?”

\----

Kenma stood at the entrance of the conn-pod, taking a few deep breaths as he watched Kuroo connecting the rig to his arm and his spinal clamp. Adjusting his helmet to the pod’s life support and data collection systems, Kuroo looked up at Kenma with a smile and a thumbs up.

Kenma gave the other a small smile back before he stepped into the pod and did just as Kuroo did. After both were cleared with a secure connection to the pod, the speakers crackled to life with his mom’s voice. 

“Initiating bridge, prepare for neural handshake in 5, 4, 3, 2--”

With a deep breath in and a slow breath out, Kenma let himself be pulled into the drift almost effortlessly. The memories flowed by him but he kept his eyes opened, looking ahead at the digital heads-up display that lit up before him. He let out a shaky breath that seemed to break the silence before flexing his fingers. 

“Neural handshake, strong and holding.” Crackled the voice in his headset, his eyes widening slightly as he turned his head to look at Kuroo, who was already looking at him with a dazzling smile. 

“Welcome to the drift, Kenma. You did great.” Kuroo said. Kenma could only nod, unsure of forming words just yet. The connection felt effortless as they ran through tests, moving smoothly together as if they’d been drifting successfully for years. 

When the tests ended and they were disconnected from the rigs, Kuroo ran over to Kenma and wrapped his arms around the other tightly. They stood in the conn-pod, arms around each other as they quietly celebrated their success together, only broken apart by the tech that politely asked them to step out so they could continue with the day's training schedules. 

“So….Rogue Wildcat is gonna be ours.” Kuroo said as they walked down the halls towards their bunk. “I was talking to your mo- Dr. Kozume, and she thinks...you should keep piloting the right hemisphere.”

Kenma stopped walking, looking up at Kuroo with a frown. Kuroo spun around to look at him, raising a brow questioningly. 

“But you’re more cut out to be the dominant pilot. What happens if I chase the rabbit while we’re fighting a kaiju or I break the neural handshake and I get us killed?” Kenma’s voice rose as he spoke, starting to get a little worked up in the hallway. Kuroo’s eyes widened slightly as he reached out, putting his hands on Kenma’s shoulders.

“Woah, hey hey calm down. You’re not gonna get us killed. You’re incredibly smart, Kenma. You’re observant and amazing at strategizing and I think you’ll make a damn good dominant pilot. I don’t mind being the left hemisphere, I just want to be your co-pilot…”

Kenma let his shoulders sag as he leaned forward, his forehead leaning against Kuroo’s chest while the other wrapped his arms around him. 

“I promise, as your co-pilot I’ll make sure nothing happens to us...to you.” Kuroo said softly before leading Kenma the rest of the way down the hall to their bunk.

That night, as Kenma lay awake staring at the bottom of Kuroo’s bunk, he felt their muted connection more than normal. Flashes of Kuroo’s memory popped up in his mind as he turned on his side, huffing softly to himself. He could feel something akin to pride flowing through their connection, Kuroo’s pride in Kenma, in their compatibility to drift so successfully.

And Kenma couldn’t help but feel guilty. He’d been the reason their drifting had failed before and now, knowing he’d be the dominant pilot in their jaeger, he felt a new type of fear.

He’d take responsibility for his own actions, for his own inability to keep himself from chasing that damn rabbit in the drift but he would rather deal with neural overload than ever put Kuroo in danger because of his shortcomings. 

Quietly rolling out of bed and pulling on his shoes, Kenma left the bunk to wander the halls. He made his way to the empty bay of the shatterdome, staring up at Rogue Wildcat that had just a few J-Tech members flitting around her on the mobile catwalks. 

Looking around the mostly empty bay, he moved over to a set of stairs leading up to the catwalks and began to climb. Making his way to the highest catwalk, eye-level with the jaeger, he sat down with his legs over the edge and stared at the crimson and black metal, shining under the few lights still lit over the jaeger. 

“I don’t see how I can be trusted as a dominant pilot-- as _your_ dominant pilot…” Kenma said, staring at the dark conn-pod. He sighed as he leaned his head against the railing. “You’re an incredible jaeger, the newest mark 5, I’m not upset that I get the chance to pilot you. I just feel like maybe I’m not good enough.”

Kenma reached up, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes as he held back a sob.

“I’m going to get Kuroo killed.” Kenma cried softly. 

“The more you worry about something, the stronger I feel it in our connection...even if we’re not connected in a neurological handshake.” A voice said next to him, startling Kenma from his spot as he looked up at Kuroo with tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Kenma said as he wiped his eyes. Kuroo waited for a second before holding his hand out to the other, waiting for him to take it before leading him down the catwalks to the bay floor. “Where are we going?”

“We’re gonna go outside for a minute, I convinced the marshal to allow us a small walk even though it's the middle of the night.” Kuroo said pointedly with a gentle smile. Kenma nodded as the officers near small bay doors opened them for the two before they stepped out into the cold night air, the calm sea breeze blowing Kenma’s hair back from his face gently.

“You know your worrying and all, it’s pretty strong even through a ghost drift.” Kuroo said as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, staring out at the sea. 

“I’m sor-”

“No, don’t apologize.” Kuroo turned to look at Kenma, his browns drawn together with a look of concern. “Like I said, as your co-pilot, as your _best friend_ , I care about you. I want to know when you are scared or worried or anything, Kenma. In the moment of battle we don’t have time to go over every decision, every outcome. As co-pilots, in the drift and outside of it, we have to be connected to work together in those types of moments. That means that outside of the drift we have to talk, to be open with each other even if it seems hard and I _know_ it seems hard but, Kenma, I’ve known you for so fucking long and I know we can do this. We can be completely, one-hundred percent compatible, both in the drift and outside of it.”

Kenma stood, listening to all of what Kuroo said as the sound of the waves lapping up against the shatterdome faded out. He could feel new tears stinging his eyes, frustrated that Kuroo always knew what to say but in the best of ways. 

“So I’ll go first so we can finally be really compatible, Kenma.” Kuroo said as he reached out, putting his hands on Kenma’s shoulders as he looked him in the eyes. “I have been in love with you, for so damn long and I never said anything because I didn’t want it to change the way you looked at me and I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I just-”

“For once Kuroo, just shut the fuck up.” Kenma said, reaching out to hold Kuroo’s face in his hands and pulling him into a kiss. It was gentle, a soft kiss that lingered but filled Kenma’s chest with a warmth that felt so reassuring. As they broke apart, he watched the way Kuroo’s lips stretched into the most gentle smile he’d ever seen. 

“I guess I have my answer then, don’t I.” Kuroo hummed smugly as he wrapped an arm around Kenma and pulled him close to his side. They stood silently for a few minutes, looking out at the sea illuminated by the moon high overhead. 

“Everything is going to be okay, and even when it doesn’t seem like it, I’ll always be next to you.”

“I know, Kuroo.” Kenma said with a smile as he leaned into Kuroo’s side. 

The next kaiju attack came sooner than expected, four days after their first successful drift to be exact. As they suited up and stepped into the conn-pod of Rogue Wildcat, Kenma took a moment to stop Kuroo before they hooked up to the rigs.

“What? What’s wrong?” Kuroo questioned quickly as Kenma removed his helmet, worrying that Kenma was already doubting himself again when they had little time with the category four kaiju closing in on the miracle mile of the Tokyo shatterdome. 

“Nothing’s wrong, just,” Kenma started, reaching up and removing Kuroo’s helmet. Leaning up on his toes, he placed a gentle kiss against the other’s lips before pulling back with a smile, “for good luck.”

Kuroo was speechless for half a second before he broke out into a smile, snatching his helmet back and putting it on before they both hooked themselves into their rigs. 

“After this you better give me a real kiss, Rogue.” Kuroo teased as their headsets announced the countdown for the neurological handshake. "And don't go chasing any rabbits."

Kenma gave a small laugh, rolling his eyes at the new nickname. He flexed his fingers as he let out a breath he felt had been weighing on his chest for so long.

“Whatever you say, Wildcat.” Kenma replied before slipping into the drift, meeting Kuroo on the other side. 

**Author's Note:**

> This might become a small series?? Not sure, let me know what you think and I might write some more for this!


End file.
